Chapter 21 Teaser

I sat numbly on the couch with freshly bandaged hands and a broken heart. My heart was not only broken because the only woman I ever loved couldn't love me back, my heart was broken for her. I should be angry at her, I should feel used and misled, but I didn't. I could never be mad at Bella, especially now that I've opened my eyes a little wider.

It was always there, little pieces of the puzzle, but the puzzle was always incomplete. All this time I've spent, trying to take pieces that don't fit, and force them upon each other just to get the finished product, but you can't finish the puzzle if the pieces were still missing.

I've finally found a few extra pieces, now I had to connect them.

How could I have not made the connection between the fear of bedrooms, how certain things in a movie would set her off, and how a simple drop of blood could send her into a frenzy? She witnessed her parents being murdered, of course she would be afraid of blood! Of course the bedroom scene from Taken would cause her to panic. I didn't know everything about her past, but I knew enough to see the stupid moves I made along the way, how I've unintentionally caused some if not most of her panic attacks myself.

I looked over at the notebook, still laying where I had thrown it earlier. She must hate me now. All this time I've been making her reliving nightmarish memories, and I thought I had the right to be mad at her. How could I be so selfish?

But she was telling me not to love her.


You still could have handled things a little better jackass.


I know, but it hurt so badly that I bared my heart to her and all she had to say was 'I told you not to fall in love with me.'


S0 your first and logical thought was to punch a fucking mirror. You've not only managed to break your mother's favorite mirror, scare the fuck out of Bella, and mess up your hand, but you've also managed to prove that there are no limits to your stupidity. Congratulations fuckface, you are officially the dumbest fucker alive. Here have a cookie, or better yet, punch another mirror, only use your head this time, it will do less damage.

Damn, Yoda me was being a bitch, but he had a point.

Chapter 20 Teaser

My feet were killing me and my vision was blurred by my own tears. I had never seen Edward loose his cool like that before, and it killed me that I couldn't tell him I loved him too. I did love him, I loved him so much I let him go before it was too late. I knew he wouldn't understand, but he didn't leave me a choice.

When he told me he broke rule number three, it seemed all too familiar. Then he confessed that he loved me, and spoke words that I could only dream of. I knew right then and there, to save him, I had to hurt him.

It was all too much, this whole week, my mind and body couldn't take anymore. Edward's admission was only the cherry on top. No matter how grateful I was for his love, I couldn't accept it, I couldn't accept anyone's love. I didn't deserve love, of any type, from anyone, but Edward didn't know when to give up.

Chapter 20 Teaser Pic

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